Sunday, May 20, 2012

Now You've Done It





Your family and friends were right.

You write about your writing too much.

You spend so much time Facebook spamming the rest of the world about your writing that you missed the call.

No one who works for the government ever answers their phone, so they called you.

They were looking for the insurance carrier that would take care of the damages caused to their saucer by our planet's unmanned spacecraft.  Space is a dangerous place and everybody is supposed to have insurance.  It wasn't their fault that our space probe didn't have enough brains to recognize an intergalactic stop sign.  And now someone has to pay for the replacement dilithium crystals.  So they called you.

But you were so busy writing about your writing on Facebook.that you missed their last peace offering.  They are a peaceful race from a peaceful planet and like to resolve things peacefully.  But, as the designated Earth representative, you were writing about your writing and didn't answer your phone.

What's an alien race with a grudge to do?

Maybe you should take a breather from writing about your writing long enough to realize that the planet's in danger without you.

Or maybe just pay attention to your family and friends.

It's summer, don't you know?

Put away you laptop and your electronic friends and engage in life.  Writers who don't live life to the fullest have no business telling stories to the rest of us.

Besides, we're all still dodging alien death rays because you wouldn't take the call from the planet Regula.

18 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Very clever! Hey, I know when to live life. Not even on Facebook.
Just hope the call doesn't come while I'm in the middle of Diablo III though.

Rick said...

Now that's funny, Alex. Some games are worth the risk!

Charles Gramlich said...

This is directed at me, isn't it? :)

Rick said...

Well, there were some reports from Mark Zuckerberg that you were using so many electrons that other people were having a hard time logging in. Just saying.

Bernard Lee DeLeo said...

Good one, Rick, but the fact is, without the variety of writing in all venues we can, we'll burn out like a candle in a whirlwind. Once a writer stops producing words in all areas and seemingly pointless outlets they can, the much feared 'Block' can overcome consciousness. As long as we write somewhere, we're open to new scenes, ideas, and imaginings. Family and life never take a backseat. They're our vehicle to yet more interludes we writer/succubi absorb for our passion. :)

Rick said...

Hi Bernard! I'm with you. Nothing is worth writer's block. But if you can invent a Writer's Hammer to break up the Writer's Block, I'll finance it and you and I will be rich.

Stephen Tremp said...

So THAT'S how the world will end on 12-21-12. Yawn. Back to Facebook now.

Rick said...

You would, wouldn't you Stephen!?

Annalisa Crawford said...

Er... Sorry?

Rick said...

Apology accepted, Annalisa. Now talk to them about turning off those ray-guns, will you?

Christine Danek said...

I've been reading a lot of posts lately that have been telling me to get off the internet and write. I've been slowing down and I'm getting back into the joy of writing. I'm also enjoying life a lot more. I just hope I didn't miss the call of the invasion. :)
THanks.

Rick said...

Hello Christine!

I think it's great that you're slowing down and writing more- I'll be doing the same myself shortly.

Don't worry about missing the invasion phone call- caller ID will say "Out of Planetary Area" instead of the usual "Out of Area."

If that fails, a large tinfoil umbrella will protect our heads from alien rays. Pass the word.

Sandi McBride said...

Sometimes I take a hiatus from FB till I get guilted into going back on...sigh...I'm putty in their hands!! Loved this piece, Rick!
Sandi

Rick said...

Well, FB can't be all evil, although evil Facebook stories would make a great anthology...

Bonnee Crawford said...

It's only summer in the northern hemisphere! It's winter down in Australia now Rick :( All cold and writing about the memories of summer to pull myself through...

But I'll keep my phone close by, just in case the aliens try to call me next!

Anna Smith said...

I'm going to start using Facebook more now; I want to see what happens! :P

Rick said...

Don't worry, Bonnee- I got a call from Mark Zuckerberg and and Facebook will be introducing its new One World Temperature program. Facebook members will be able harmonizing temperatures by sending "Likes" and "Dislikes" to each other regarding the temperature in their part of the world.

t's a little known fact that the more electrons are gathered in a particular part of the world, the hotter that place is.

Therefore, it's not actually summer here, it's that we have an excess of electrons in Detroit. With the new Facebook technology that allows us to send our electron surplus to other places (say your home town), we can have the warm weather breezes fluffing your hair in no time at all. You may have a beach tan before the week is out. :)

But even at the beach, please, please take your phone with you. It's hot enough here now without another blast from their ray guns!

Rick said...

You are such a little devil, Anna.