My werewolf novel "Tainted Blood" is finally available in paperback. The cover image hasn't loaded yet, but it takes a week or two to show. Price for the print version is $15.99.
Wait- I sound like an infomercial. I should throw in some Ginsu knives so I could say, "But wait, there's more." Then I could throw in a free juicing machine.
If you can't tell I wanted very badly to either write for the world's greatest magazine, "The Weekly World News," or be the lead guy in info-mercials. I watch re-runs of Orgreenic frying pan presentations, Orek vacuum cleaning commercials, Intensity Workout infomercials and Dance Away the Pounds.
So I'm tempted, really tempted to do a "Tainted Blood" info-mercial.
That way I could do my first "Buy Now!"
I could say "Tainted Blood" is yours right now in three easy payments if you act right now.
Or I could say that if you don't buy, I'll give your number to both political parties and say you love phone calls. Now that's what I call gangsta sales.
Or, I could go back to writing the second in the series, called "The White Death."
First I have to go back and read the classic Weekly World News Classic story "Garden of Eden Found!" by the brilliant reporter Frank Lake. Here's an excerpt demonstrating why he should replace Walter Cronkite as America's reporting icon:
“The RMS (radioactive mass spectrometer) was showing an extremely small dense object 30 feet underground” Colonel Pentine said, “We called in the hazmat team to dig it up.”
Dressed in radiation-proof uniforms, soldiers began excavating the area. What they discovered seemed harmless enough: The withered remains of an ancient tree.
“The bark looked as if it ha been blasted by lightning. Pentine said. “We dug carefully around the trunk and soon unearthed the skeletal remains of a large snake beside the mass we had been reading.
“The object was red and looked like an apple,” she said.
You can see why my childhood dream was to work for the Weekly World News. Matter of fact, if they called me today, I'd still take the job.