She's Writing a Novel.
The video above was covertly filmed at a secret research facility buried deep beneath Area 51. Using reverse engineered alien technology, an elite group of scientists who worked Monday and Wednesday nights while living on pretzels and coffee finally developed a robot capable of writing genre novels. "It was bound to happen," said a former scientist for Coast to Coast AM . "Robots could already play chess, perform surgery and dance like Janet Jackson. We just took it a step higher- or lower, depending on who you talk to."
It's a dark secret in the publishing industry that as many as 7.4% of the novels they now print are, in fact, written by a prototypical novel writing robot named "Cut and Paste." As her name suggests, this amazing piece of technology specializes in mass producing genre novels. The genre market was chosen for the first software trial because so many genre stories are interchangeable.
"Hard to tell them apart," said one test reader. "But that's the way most writers make them. If they show too much creativity, no one's going to publish them anyway. So why can't robots write if all they have to do is stick to a formula?"
In fact, according to a recent survey, most writers are advised to keep a lid on their creativity if they want to get published. One writing teacher paid by the publishing industry advises, "Just gender swap roles and use canned plots like everyone else does. That way you don't have to think so much and you can write more."
This approach is so predictable it gave software engineers ideas. Computers are great at predictability. "If we can map the human genome," said Dr. H. Dumpty, "I think we can kick H.K. Rowling's ass. Sure, in the beginnning we wrote a few clunkers, but 'Cut and Paste' is now a B list author at an Indie publishing house and no one is the wiser. Everything's done through emails, and for booksignings we hire actresses and pay them minimum wage. We can afford it because we don't pay 'Cut and Paste' royalties. We have a good deal going."
They do have a good thing going. Maybe if writers don't want to become obsolete, we should try being more creative and quit being safe. Maybe we should inject a little risk into our prose, take a few serious chances. Maybe we should push the market's envelope instead of letting the publishers seal ours.
Otherwise, we might start seeing 'Cut and Paste' at booksignings instead of H.K. Rowlings.
Just how predictable is your writing?